It’s possible to feel the grief of losing a constant companion even years later, it’s perfectly normal. To bring down the hurt a little, be gentle and compassionate with yourself, honor your beloved dog, and take comfort in memories.
1. Don’t Be Hard on Yourself, It Takes Time to Heal
You’ve lost your dog, and likely the daily routine for years, maybe even a decade. Your relationship with your dog has likely outlasted friendships and romantic relationships. It’s normal to miss someone you have known for that long, even years later. And when that someone was a dog, an unconditional lover in its most endearing form, the loss can hit even harder.
Now is the time to think about self-care in its most basic forms; compassion toward yourself, food and water, exercise, and sleep. A healthy body and mind will make this period of grief seem more manageable. Eat a balanced diet and drink lots of water. Speak kindly to yourself—and don’t rush yourself into adopting a new dog.
If being balanced seems out of reach, eating a fruit or vegetable with each meal will be beneficial. The same goes for exercise; if a full workout at the gym isn’t in the cards, a neighborhood walk like you would’ve taken with your dog can be just what you need. Sleep as much as you need to; if you can’t, ask a doctor for help.
If you find that thoughts of your dog are intrusive, constant, or interfering with your life, a visit to a mental health professional may be in order. There are counselors who specialize in pet bereavement, as well as online support groups. Without support, pet grief can lead to post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety.
2. Honor Your Dog’s Memory
Honoring your dog with a memorial in your home is a good way to keep a connection with them after they’ve passed away. Years ago, my favorite dog passed away at the age of 14. I left the vet’s office with a broken heart and her collar, the same one that she’d worn for years of adventures together. That collar now sits on the shelf with my wedding and family photos, among the most precious things in my life, where it belongs.
I’ve been inside many homes and seen shrines, altars, and memorials to dogs, cats, and birds. Some are decorated with urns of the animal’s ashes. Others are decorated with photos or professionally drawn or painted pet portraits of their loved ones. They can be as simple as a display of an urn or a collar, or as elaborate as full Buddhist altars with room for candles and offerings.
Still, other people show their devotion by setting up an outdoor memorial. Garden stones, pavers, and even plaques for benches can be purchased online. You can also create your own doggy DIY creative craft project to celebrate your dog’s life.
3. Enjoy the Memories You Made Together
Your dog was awesome. Best dog ever, right? Talk about them. Remind your friends about the time the dog jumped straight up from floor level and licked your nose. Remind them about those ridiculous zoomies. Remember when they ate a rat and shook it off like nothing happened? Hilarious but gross!
If you’re the journaling type, write about your dog in your journal. Write about it all; of course, the sadness and grief you’re feeling now, but also the happy and fun memories when those come to mind. Let yourself enjoy old memories. If those memories bring up grief, let yourself feel it and write about it. Many people find that writing about huge feelings like grief makes them seem more manageable.
The Takeaway: You Can Overcome Your Grief
There are times that my heart still hurts for my Missy. I miss her. And I remind myself that it was a privilege and an honor to know her. Dogs leave pawprints on our hearts but leave our lives too soon. That’s why it’s so important to love our dogs as much as we can when they’re here and care for ourselves and our hearts when they pass away, and as long as the grief lasts.
Remember, be kind to yourself and take good care of yourself. Honor your dog with a memorial if you believe that would help; many people feel more connected to their departed dog with a visual reminder nearby, but some find it too painful. Find comfort in memories of your dog, both the silly and the sad ones, and remember what a wonderful thing it is to love someone so much.
