While they don’t speak our language, our pets share our emotions. One of the most difficult ones to navigate is loss, especially when we cannot explain its complexities to our pets or have conversations about our emotions.
Helping your pets grieve requires a keen understanding of their behavior and patience on your part. In this guide, we explain what you should expect and how to help them navigate the emotion.
Understanding Signs of Grief in Pets
Signs of grief in our pets usually mimic our own response to loss. These include:
- Loss of appetite
- Sleeping more
- Clinging to remaining companions
- Changes in bathroom or grooming habits
- Seeking the lost companion in their normal spaces
- Taking on the behaviors of the lost companion
In reality, any deviation from normal behavior is a valid grief response. Pets may become more vocal than before, barking or meowing randomly, or they may have uncharacteristic bouts of aggression.
Helping Pets Grieve Loss
Whether you’ve noticed signs of impending death for a while or you’ve lost your pet suddenly, the loss is difficult to deal with. The weight on your shoulders increases when you have other pets in the home going through the same thing and depending on you to help them understand.
Usually, these behaviors relax with time. Helping your pet navigate this tumultuous time is essential to preserve your relationship and may prevent them from spiraling into the darker depths of grief.
The keys to helping your pets grieve loss are patience and consistency. By offering them grace and stability, they have the space they need to tackle the emotion and move past it in a healthy way.
Allow Time for Adjustment
Just like humans, animals have different timelines for coming to terms with loss. Some act like nothing has changed, while others need a few months to adjust. Either way, do not expect your pet to be their typical self for a while after the loss of their house mate.
Tension may be high during this time. If you have multiple remaining pets, they’ll also need to work out changing dynamics. You may witness a few scats, but they shouldn’t turn into severe fights.
Try to avoid major changes during this time, like adopting a new pet or moving. These can add to the stress and make things worse.
Consider Your Own Grief
While you shouldn’t bottle up your own emotions, it’s important you don’t put too much pressure on your remaining pets to console you. They’re usually more than willing to offer the companionship you need, but it puts a lot of pressure on them they may not understand.
This is best avoided by ensuring you keep up a regular routine and spend positive time with them, but you may also need to check how dependent you are on them for soaking up your negative emotions. If you notice they’re getting depressed, consider other outlets for coping with your loss that don’t rely on your pet.
Maintain Routine
Animals thrive off routines. As much as you may want to melt into your bed for a week straight, do your best to keep to your previous schedule.
Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the regular times, and try not to skip your daily walks–staying physically fit helps you navigate your mental hurdles. Maintain your morning and bedtime rituals, and try not to let your sorrow cloud out daily play time or training.
Spend Time Together
That’s not to say you shouldn’t give your pets more attention during this time. If possible, cuddle with them more or plan activities you both enjoy. This lets them know they still have a relationship with you and reintroduces some joy into your lives.
Try hiking a new trail or take them out to get some toys or treats. Take them along to the cafe or outdoor bar, or even just sit in the park together while you read. The fresh air does everyone some good.
If this is too much, they’ll be perfectly content with binging a new show at home. Anything that gives your soul peace during this difficult time.
When to Seek Professional Help
While most pets handle grief as well as can be expected, they sometimes fall into a deeper depression. They can’t talk about their emotions like we can, and sometimes the cloud of loss gets the better of them and starts to affect their physical health.
Reach out to your vet if you notice:
- Behavior that doesn’t improve with time
- Not eating or drinking
- Excessive sleeping or inactivity
- Serious aggression or anxiety
Your veterinarian will intervene as necessary to make sure your pet is getting the nutrients they need and staying hydrated. They may prescribe medication like Zoloft or recommend certain changes to their schedule or care.
Grief is not a linear process, but it’s something you and your pet can get through together.
